Rants, Raves & Conversation Pieces

I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore.
-- Howard Beale, Network (1976)

This is where I talk about anything and everything that's on my mind. From who I dislike on American Idol to funny stuff I see on T.V., this is where I let it all hang out (within reason).

American Idol, A.K.A. I Hate Constantine Maroulis

I have been watching this season of American Idol faithfully since the first audition episode. I am not typically a fan of reality television, but I initally watched to see if I recognized anyone in the Cleveland auditions [answer: I didn't]. As of today [April 4, 2005] The show is down to eight contestants. I have my favorites, but I will not be happy if Constantine wins the show.

Why do I hate Constantine?

Hate is maybe too strong a word, but I greatly dislike his arrogance and sloppy vocal style. Last week, when Randy Jackson told Constantine that he sounded better than Bo Bice that night, I heard Constantine say "yeah, me too". Everytime he sings a song, it sounds sloppy, like someone just getting out of bed and asked to sing right then and there. Then there's that whole double-chin he's been sporting ever since the contestants got to Hollywood.

You're not just jealous, are you?

It's not jealousy that is behind this, it's my problem with attitude. I have filters when it comes to attitudes: you could be the greatest singer in the world, but if you have a terrible personality, I see not your talent but the ugliness of your heart. I could never see Constantine's good points because all I can see is the bad. You may not agree with my opinion of him, and that's okay. It's one of the great points of being in a democracy.

Columbus Drivers do not enter sign

I can't say that everyone in Columbus, Ohio, drives like a maniac, but I do have a problem with being run off the road by someone on a cell phone. I deal with problem drivers moreso in Columbus than anywhere else. Here is my list of my top five pet peeves about the bad drivers (and pedestrians) that live in Columbus:

  1. Cell Phone Users (habitual offenders often commit multiple offenses and sometimes wait until they are in the car before getting on the phone) no cell phone sign
  2. Ignoring Stop Signs (since when have they become optional?) stop sign
  3. Driving 35mph everywhere (no matter if the speed limit is 25 or 45) speed limit sign
  4. Multi-lane driving & parking (your car is not that big; pick a lane) turn lane sign
  5. Walking everywhere, crosswalk or not (when I was growing up I learned a very important physics lesson: human vs. car equals car wins pedestrian crossing

I complain because these are things that contribute to road rage for myself and others who are not as understanding. I just have a propensity to yell at people (with the window rolled down) but there are those out there who won't hesitate to do worse. I try not to go over the speed limit, much to the ire of other lead foots, but I say these things as a warning. One of these days, someone is going to get hurt or killed running the stop signs (and occasional stoplights). I will never understand why a person thinks a person will stop their car because you decided to cross next to the crosswalk, forgetting that the car outweighs you and it would be much easier if the person got out of the way. I'd rather warn people of their dangerous ways than wake up one morning to find out a pedestrian is no more. Damnit.

Funny Commercials and Quotes

This is a section in progress, so it's not as extensive as I would like. I'm a big fan of memorable commercials. One that is a particular favorite is the Tidy Cats commercial where the tagline was I still think they're diamonds. I wish I had taped that one because the cats were so funny, but it will have to be a fond memory.

Another one of my favorites is the Office Max campaign to the song of Rubberband Man. I love the song and I think the ads are creative and stimulating.

There are, unfortunatly, more commercials that get on my nerves than ones I like. For example, I hade the new commercials for Raisin Bran because, at the end of the campaign, the guy who's been fired is considered a person to emulate. Why do we reward incompetence?

Most Hated Commercial of All: Subway

I have a problem with Jared from the Subway commercials. Having him shlep for them has actually caused me to stop eating at Subway for six months. He puts down McDonalds and other food choices, but the company fails to provide suitable replacements for the other restaurants' foods. The one I hated the most: being told that I should eat a cold-cuts, twelve-inch sandwich over a Big Mac. If I want a Big Mac, cold-cuts aren't going to cut it. Telling me that I should eat a meatball sandwich would be a closer item to what I really want, but they want me to Eat Fresh ®. I'm not on a diet, and I don't like being told what to eat. Frankly, I don't like to be told what to do, but that's my personal problem. I just want to watch my commercials and be left in piece

Random Quotes

Warning: Some of these are a little risque, profane, or violent, so be warned.

"Sometimes you've just got to grin and eat poop".
-- Cameron Yannayon, former co-worker
"We need some more violence in our lives"
-- Raffaele Di Lallo, high school classmate
"I'm sure that if you had been willing to kiss me, I would have tasted the poison in your soul"
-- From an Internet 'blogger, who's name I don't know, writing to her ex-boyfriend
From a conversation about the difference between simple and stupid:
"Simple is quaint in its naivete and slowness, but stupid is as dumb as dog shit and half as nutritious"
-- me
While watching the VIBE awards with a girl doing a crotch dance on someone else
"You know, I don't want to do anything where I would get pregnant in public"
-- me

I would list more, but they get pretty vulgar, so I'll stop there. If you want to hear more, let me know and I'll hook you up.

The Moral of the Story Is...

I am a person who is all over the place, as I was once told by a classmate, and it's true. I used to crack up my co-workers when I would show up to a volunteer event with a hugh bag full of activites. I hope that this chaotic trip though my rants hasn't left you too disturbed.

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This page is © Kay K. Clopton. The images are © Icon Bazaar.

This page was updated April 4, 2005

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