A Romantic 'Empiricist' Poem
Dedicated to the "Empiricist and Kant" seminar under the instruction of Professor Susan Armstrong, Fall 1998.

Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by our inquisitive empiricists.
Twist and turn they squirm
But the truth is here
In front, in back
On top, on bottom.

We have here common sense
We have here experience
We have here God almighty
We have here my nose
We have here my fingers
We have here my tongue
We have here my ears
We have here my eyes,
And what beautiful eyes they are.

These are the truths and from them
The world evolves and revolves.

So help me
Please do help me
Because I seem to have forgotten what it means to be human, because
"either Hylas you are jesting
or have a very bad memory."

"Now that would be a contradiction"
And when contradictions are abound
The King of Kings shall reign forever and ever


Is that really you Mr. Hobbes?
How is that valium affecting your understanding?

Is that really you Dr. Locke?
Have you been caught peeping into someone's bedchamber?
Reality huh?
You'd better keep a tight lid on that cigar, sir!

Is that really you Bishop Berkeley?
Have you come to confess your sins?
Are you just asking God out for dinner,
You scoundrel!!

Is that really you Mr. Hume?
You can't figure it out?
I can't figure it out either.

Maybe we should start all over again?
And go back to the cave...

But it is too dark in there.
Scary isn't it.
Please enlighten us, and
Let us remember that
In the end, we are all
Watching, waiting, wondering


The beauty of it all,

"Watching us watching you watching us"

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